Reader's Question about Loved One in a Group Home...

Recently, I received this question from a reader:

"Your question for Regina: My wife, Karen, appears to be in late moderate stage. She is also in a group home. She asks everytime why she cannot go home. I tell her things like soon, we have to get permission from the Doctor or something off the topic. She gets angry and tell me to stop doing that to her. I don't seem to be able to find the right words to re-direct her. " 

My response:  Hi, thank you for reaching out.  If there are other readers who would like to comment, I invite them to do so here.  As far as your conundrum, it is not unusual for someone to ask you that question.  I wonder under what circumstances you were able to move her to a group home?  Was part of that her choice?  If she is cognizant enough, you might be able to revisit with her as to why you both made the decision you did.  If she is further along in her dementia, then, I think the reasons you are using are good.  Always using the doctor as the person to make that decision seems to work well.  You might ask the group home owners if that is a problem after you leave.  See what their response is.  One more question is how often you visit?  Has your wife had time to adjust to her new environment?  Sometimes visiting less can help a person adjust more to that place that is now their home.  Please ask if you have more questions.....take care.....Regina