Making Difficult Decisions

Hi Everyone…….recently, I was told about an article in the Washington Post about having that “difficult conversation.”  That is the conversation about moving a loved one to a facility where he or she can receive the care needed.  Sometimes, we caregivers just cannot do it all.  So, extra help is needed.  But it is just not that simple to change a person from being independent to being in assisted living at best.  Powers of Attorney, banking, mailing addresses, what furniture to keep, what to dispose of, closeness of family and friends, and on and on.  I have attached the website for the article in case you’d like to read it.  Here is an excerpt about starting the conversation with a loved one from the article:

“……..there are some tactics that can make the conversation easier, Hurme said:

• Ask one or two questions at a time. For instance, ask where the person banks, then wait a week before asking where to find their Social Security number.

• Use someone the person knows as an example of what you want to do or avoid. Discuss how things worked out and ask what your loved one would do differently.

• Invite a trusted third party, such as a faith leader or lawyer, to act as a mediator to clarify everyone’s goals.

“Use the approach that ‘I want to be sure you maintain your independence as long as possible. I want to be sure that your wishes are carried out, whether it be financial, where you live, how you live, the quality of your life,’ ” Hurme said.”  

Changing a lifestyle is full of anxieties for the person changing as well as for those helping.  BUT, as the article notes:  “……not planning for it makes it worse.”